


Withdrawal

by QueenBookBuff



Series: High on Summer [5]
Category: That '70s Show
Genre: Angst, Becoming more, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Making Love, Passion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:56:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenBookBuff/pseuds/QueenBookBuff
Summary: Hyde  takes a chance and asks Jackie an important question. When she hesitates he has to decide if he can fight his addiction for her or deal with her silence.
Relationships: Jackie Burkhart/Steven Hyde
Series: High on Summer [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1978360
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	Withdrawal

**Author's Note:**

> I am terrible at Passionate moments in stories, so excuse the utter lameness. I know I have used storms before to describe Jackie and Hyde but the always remind me of a line in one of my favorite songs "Its what happens when a hurricane meets a tornado." 
> 
> I never believed that it was just a fling for Hyde. He was just to scared to share how he felt.

As soon as I walk out the door, I am soaked. The rain is pouring down like the heavens are sobbing. It is still summer, so the warm air keeps the rain from biting my skin. Even if the rain had been piercing cold, I wouldn’t have given a damn. I haven’t felt this way in a long time, the need to escape, but I want to be as far away from Jackie as possible. 

Damn you, Jackie! I am so…. I don’t even know, but I should have known better. What the hell was I thinking getting involved with her? Nothing is worth this. This stabbing pain in my heart, isn’t worth the high she gives me. I lean over, I can barely breathe. 

  
  


_Fuck her, Fuck her, Fuck her, I chant in my head._

I don’t even know where I am going, I am storming down the block in the God Damn Fucking Pouring Rain. Jesus CHRIST! She sends me over the edge. This is not me. I don’t storm out and get emotional. I don’t let girls get to me. This is ridiculous. A quiet voice inside my head says,

_“This isn’t an only a girl, this is Jackie.”_

“I don’t give a fuck!” I shout to the world. Great, now I’m answering the voice in my head out loud. SHE MAKES PEOPLE INSANE! That has to be what it is, it’s a long term side effect of taking the drug that is Jackie. 

I am literally stopped on the sidewalk in front of some old house that is abandoned. I need to pull myself together before I go back and deal with Jackie and end whatever this is between us. I don’t want this to be the end. She said, she loved me. I heard it. I know it was in her sleep but I believed it. I wanted this, not that I would ever say it to her, and this is why….. SHE CAN’T BE TRUSTED! She has the power to destroy, I know now, that Kelso never loved Jackie, or he would be a broken man. 

No! No! No! I mumble to myself, and try to back that last part up even to myself. I don’t love her. I can’t love her. That is like committing myself to insanity. My inner voice is having none of it, and for once I really hate my need for brutal honesty. Because the part of me that I keep deeply hidden, my stupid heart won’t shut the hell up.

_“You love her. You’ve loved her since Prom. Don’t be an idiot.”_

My inner monologue takes the fight out of me, but I don’t want to go back to the basement. I glance at the abandoned house again, and decide to sit on the steps. I guess, I could go in, but the rain is the perfect backdrop for how she makes me feel. She both washes away the worst parts of me, but causes a storm of destruction in my defenses. I plop down on the rickety steps, and drop my head into my hands. All I wanted was the ride of my life with Jackie. I just want to taste what was forbidden to me for so long. I wanted to have a summer that gave me the chance to indulge in my deepest fantasy. Now I love her, and I don’t want to. I never thought Jackie Burkart could hurt me, but that damn woman sliced me at the knees. As the rain pelts down upon me, I think of what sent me running away from my most desperate need and now my most hated addiction.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Before_

_The rain was making it a sleepy afternoon, he was content. For him this was not a familiar feeling. Something he had not been in years, and it was all due to this slip of a woman nuzzling his chest. Every moment with Jackie has been a new high for him, making it nearly impossible for him to pick what part of her he was addicted to most. He has this burning need for her, and when he doesn't see her, touch her, or have these quiet moments that he never thought he needed he felt like he was jumping out of his skin. She had left for a few days again to attend a wedding, and he had felt like he was crawling the walls of the basement the whole time she was gone._

_She was lazily skimming her fingers over his chest, and he was playing with her hair. It felt like silk, and he loved to let it pass through his fingers. It was nearly a perfect day. Fez and Eric headed up to Kenosha to go to Funland. They had invited him, but he had blown them off. A whole day without having to worry about getting caught was glorious to him at this point. Thinking about getting caught made him uncomfortable, neither he nor Jackie had talked about what was going to happen when Donna and Kelso waltzed back into town. There was no way they could hide it once everyone was back in the basement full time. They were barely hiding it now. Eric had already questioned him about why he was spending so much time with Jackie. He had shut it down with a quick snark he didn’t want to hear him whine about Donna being gone. What had been niggling at him since they day she went off on Eric and things had gotten heated on the stairs was she had never asked what this was or where it was going. It was completely out of her character to not nag or demand answers. He had been sure she would push for some sort commitment or explanation, but she had been strangely silent on the subject._

_Although it was completely out of his character he decided he wanted to know what she was thinking, the part of him that helped him survive was yelling “Danger!” For the first time in his life, he ignored his warning system._

_“Jacks?” he said. Still stroking her hair and unconsciously kissing her forehead._

_She only responded with a quiet “Hmmmm?”_

_He could tell she was comfortable and on the edge of sleep. She tended to be open when she was like this, and when she slept. He kept what she said in her sleep close to his heart, it felt like a secret just for him._

_“What should our plan be when Donna and Kelso come back? They can’t stay in California much longer.”_

_She went from relaxed to rigid in his arms, and he detected his first bite of panic. The panic started to rise when she said nothing._

_“Jackie? Did you hear me?” It was the most bullshit question of all time. At this point, he considered himself an expert on Jackie’s body language. When she was happy her vibrated with energy, you could see the joy roll off of her. When she was angry, her body would become still and then explode with physicality. When she was turned on or about to reach her peak, her who body shook with feeling. When she was sleepy she became extremely affectionate, and when she felt safe and sated her body melted into his. He knew she heard him, because nothing about her body’s reaction told him different. This was a new reaction. This was fear._

_“Yes, I heard you.”_

_He was officially starting to feel sick, and he felt his own body tightened. He was getting angry at her avoidance._

_“Are you going to answer me? What’s the problem? He snapped_

_Jackie raised herself up and grabbed her skirt and top, throwing them on quickly. He jumped up as well, throwing on his pants and shirt. A man couldn’t fight naked, and if she was going to throw clothes on as a shield then he sure as hell was too._

_“What the hell Jackie? What is your problem?” he yelled_

_Her eyes were darting everywhere, and he was seeing a new reaction in Jackie, one that he was familiar with, she was in fight or flight mode. He didn’t understand her reaction, but he wasn’t taking it well._

_‘It’s not that hard of a question, Jackie, if we are only fucking, then just say that. I got no problem that being what this is.”_

_She gasped loudly, “Is that what this is to you?” He could glimpse hurt in those enchantress eyes, followed quickly by anger._

_He had always admired Jackie’s ability to fight back, she was the one worthy opponent for him in the basement. Even though he was mad her, the fire lighting her eyes was turning on him. He had to look away or this was going to end with him throwing her on the bed and taking her wildly._

_He steeled himself and emptied his mind of all the things he wanted to do her body and focused on her refusal to answer the question._

_“You still haven’t answered the question. I just want make sure we are on the same page, before I decide you are worth screwing my life up over. If this is only us having a good time, I’m sure as hell not going to incinerate my friendship with Kelso for you.”_

_He watched every word he said reflected back to him in her eyes. He could identify pain, rage, disappointment and fear. What that told him was what he had been hugging close to his heart was a fantasy. He didn’t realize until that moment how much he had been living on her words….._

_“You are the best thing that ever happened to me”_

_Followed by her sweet declaration of love in her sleep, “I love him. I can’t help it.”_

_She was trembling, and he could see she was trying not to cry. The tears were near spilling over, but she was keeping them back with sheer will. Still, she stayed silent, and for the first time she was a complete mystery to him. Maybe he thought he didn’t know her at all, and that spurred him into action_

_He stared at her and spit out “Whatever Jackie” and he stormed out. He couldn’t bear to be in the same room with her anymore._

_\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Now

I squeeze my eyes tight, thinking of her face as I walked out of the room. I can feel my eyes stinging, it must be from the rain, I sure as hell am not crying. If I was anyone else I might cry over her but I would sooner rip my eyelids off then shed one damn tear over Jackie Burkhart. I’ve seen Kelso beat himself up over Jackie. I’ve watched guys lust after her in the hallways at school. I’ve even seen Fez get upset knowing he never has a chance in hell with her. I will not lower myself to the likes of those idiots I tell myself, despite the fact I am sitting outside in a damn rainstorm on a broken front porch trying to find the will to go home and face the destruction of something I wanted more than I realized. 

The sky is starting to rumble loudly and a sharp crack of lightening razors across the sky. The rain is starting to pound now, I stand to see if I can break into the house behind me. It is getting nasty, and I am going to need to wait it out. As I start to contemplate my plan action of committing breaking and entering, I hear my name faintly under the crash of the thunder beating against the sky.

I turn around, try to locate the sound through the thick curtain of rain coming down now. Damn it I am losing my mind, now I’m hearing voices. I try to focus my attention on breaking in when I hear it again,

“Steven!”

Fuck. It’s Jackie. I would know that shriek anywhere. Not even the heavens and the earth tearing each other apart could drown out Jackie. I bound back out into the open and step out on the sidewalk. As much as I don’t want to see her, she can’t be running around in a storm like this. I call for her, if she is close, the relentless rain still shrouds her.

“Jackie? Where are you?” 

I finally see her coming towards me, but I don’t think she has actually seen me, because she yells my name again “Steven?!” while looking wildly in every direction. I start to head towards here, when a huge crack of lightening explodes. I watch the bolt strike a tree, and a branch is sliced off the tree instantly. I know what is going to happen before it does. It is going to fall on her. She is frozen in fear at what is going down mere feet from her. I do the worst thing possible, I call her name.

“Jackie!”

I watch her head snap to me, I can make out relief on her face as I race towards her, but by calling her name, she looks at me instead of the tree being blown apart. I watch as the branch plummets to the ground and smacks Jackie to the ground. 

I am in a dead run. The rain is without mercy, now on my skin, I realize now the drops have turned to sleet. The wind is picking up and the lightening and thunder are competing for relevance in the sky. Just as I reach her, hail starts to come down painfully. 

I drop to my knees, next to a sprawled to the ground, soaking wet Jackie. I don’t even take the time to ask her questions. I pull her into my arms and start running back to the abandoned house. I make it in minutes. I set her down on the broken porch, and say

“Hold tight Doll, I’ll get us out of the storm in a second.” 

I go for the reliable smash the rest of a broken window as my method of breaking in. I crawl through the window and run to the door and open it from the inside. I step out and grab Jackie again and drag her into the safety of the broken home.

  
  


I glance at Jackie. She appears to be in some state shock. She is awake but mute, and she is shivering violently. I continue my survey of her body, I notice some bruises start to form. Her knees are skinned as well as her hands. I’m more concerned about how dull her eyes are, she still hasn't said a word. 

I brush the wet hair out of her face, and cup her face, so she must look in my eyes. I am starting to panic when she doesn’t seem to register who I am. Maybe she did hit her head, I am trying to think of how I can get her help, and not take her out in what must be the storm of the century for Wisconsin. 

I start stroking her cheek gently with my thumb, all my hurt and anger replaced by my desperate worry for her. 

“Come Doll, come back to me. Talk to me baby.” 

I watch her eyes spark a little, and I keep going “Jacks, what I am going to do with you? You walk in the middle of the night to come see me, and you run out in the rainstorm to chase after me. Baby, you can’t be so reckless. Jackie, I need you to try to come back to me now. You are scaring me.” 

She’s been quiet for so long when she finally talks even though it is barely audible, it startles me. “I hurt”

My panic is a fever pitch. Her eyes are more with it but still dull, and those two words make me frantic.

I scoop her closer to my body, and cradle her to my chest. We are already both soaked, what does it matter if she is pressed up against my drenched body. 

“Where baby? What hurts?”

I feel her body starting to be more responsive to mine, and she answers right away. “My wrist and hip hurt”

I pull her gently off of me, and I examine the wrist she is holding close to her body. It is bruised badly. It must have taken the weight of her fall. I pull down the side of her skirt to examine her hip. It is also heavily bruised with a serious scratch that is bleeding. 

“Shit! Okay Jackie, just sit tight. I’m going to see if there is anything left in this house I can find to help you get cleaned up”

I cross quickly into the kitchen and start opening drawers. I am finding nothing until I pull out a large drawer, it’s almost stuck. I give it one last pull and it flies out. It is full of old kitchen towels and an ancient first aid kit. I grab it all. I have one mission and that is to take care of my girl. If I wasn’t so focused on getting what I need, I would have noticed my mind had shifted back to her being mine. I don’t recognize it, but even when I’m not aware of it, my heart claims Jackie. I rush into a falling apart bedroom, this room has sadder and dejected left behinds than the kitchen. I pull open a closet and I find sheets and blankets. I was hoping for some sort of clothes, but the blankets while dingy will keep her warm.

“Steven?” Her voice is wobbly when she calls my name. I can tell she is combination of conflicting feelings. I seek to comfort her quickly, I’m coming Doll.”

I rush back into what I imagine was the living room, with supplies. I lay them down and start to undress her. That seems to wake her all the way back up, “What are you doing?” Her good arm comes across her chest.

I roll my eyes and for whatever reason I decide to be a crass asshole, “Jackie, I’ve seen you buck naked, and we have had a tremendous amount of sex together. I think you can handle me helping you get undressed, so you don’t get sick from shivering in wet clothes.”

Her big eyes cloud with tears, she turns her head, and chokes out, “I don’t think it is a good idea if you hate me.”

I sigh and pinch my nose. I don’t want to do this right now. Hell, I don’t want to think about or ever talk about what led us to being in this piece of crap house that has been left behind with no family to fill it. Momentarily it makes me think about another abandoned house across town, one that a teenage boy was left behind in. I shake it off, I don’t need to go down that road right now. 

I am startled when she breaks the awkward silence with, “You aren’t just someone I was fucking. I don’t think you know me at all if you think that is the type of person I am. I’ve only been with Kelso and you. You aren’t something I can define, that scares me. I’m scared of you Steven. I can’t voice what we are because I’m pretty sure we aren’t on the same page. I mean, look how quickly, you were willing to say I’m not worth it.”

_Damn her, Damn her, Damn her_ ……. I swear to myself, I loathe my lack of control when it comes to her. I hate that already, my mind and body want to take, possess, and have certainty that I will always have available to me how she makes me feel. I fight myself and steady my breathing. I rasp out,

“Why don’t we table that for a bit. Let me take care of you.” I watch her search for what she needs to proceed. This expression has become familiar to me, she is searching for whatever she is always looking for before she makes some life altering decision about me. I’m perplexed why me helping her would be that tough, but she is a puzzle that I can never quite figure out.

Her voice is tiny, but she agrees with a quick but soft “Okay”

I don’t say anything. I begin to gently drive her off, trying to avoid the parts of her that are bruised and cut. I gently pry off her soaked shirt, doing everything I can to not jostle her injured wrist. I help her peel off her skirt which causes her to yelp when it brushes her hip. I feel instant guilt 

“I’m sorry baby. This might hurt while I try to dry it and clean it up.” I gently spot press the towel to it, and she cries out,

“Oh that really hurts.” I look up to see her crying in pain. “Oh Doll I’m sorry.” I dig out old bandages from the box, they look clean and will have to do until I can get her to Mrs. Forman. The storm is raging still, and I know we aren't going anywhere soon, so I clean up her minor injuries as well. I take one of the big blankets and wrap it around her tight. 

I kiss her lightly, “I know it’s not perfect, but it will help until I can get you out of here.”

She nods mutely but finds her voice to worry about me, “You need to dry off as well.” She’s right. I am starting to shiver. I take the last dry towel and clean myself off, and strip. I wrap myself in the sheet I found. 

We are sitting awkwardly on the floor listening to the heavens tear Point Place apart. I can honestly say I never envisioned myself naked, but a sheet sitting next to Jackie, naked but a shabby blanket, in dead silence. I glance over at her, she has shifted, so she isn’t putting any weight on her hip that is hurt and she has her injured wrist close to her chest, like a bird with a broken wing. She looks miserable, and despite the fact I am still pissed at her, I hate to see her like this. 

“Jackie, come sit on my lap. The floor can’t be comfortable for you.” She nods her agreement and scoots slowly towards me, I can see it is painful. 

“Stop Doll. I will come to you.” I move over towards her and pull her up in my lap in one fluid motion. Jesus as soon as she is nestled in my lap, my blood starts to sing. I find it nearly impossible to not react to her. I’ve lost the ability to not bury my neck in her neck, not to nuzzle her, not to pull her close to my chest, and most of all I can’t stop myself from wanting her in every possible way. 

I’m so desperate for relief from my insatiable need to have every part of Jackie. My feelings for her gnaw at my insides and it forces me to be honest about how I feel. I, either need to make sure I never have to give her up or find out if I’m going to learn how to get sober. I close my eyes and throw my heart at her feet.

“Jackie, you aren't someone, I'm merely fucking either. You scare me as well, where I will be when you decide you are done with me. I care about you Doll.”

I feel her whole entire body melt into mine. She reaches for my cheek and gently she pulls my face, so I am staring at her. I take a sharp breath. I start to drown in what I observe in her gaze. Everything she feels for me is there for me to see no longer carefully shielded behind desire, it is there right up front and out loud. I am certain right at this moment she has powers that are supernatural, because I can’t look away. I am hypnotized by her. Her fingers gliding down my face feels like heaven. 

“Steven?” she whispers.

“Yeah?” I gruffly return.

“I want to be with you. I want everyone to know. I want to be with you out loud. I don’t care what Kelso thinks. I don’t give a damn about the fit Eric will surely throw. It doesn’t matter if Donna disapproves, but Steven please don’t hurt me. I’m not sure I can survive it.”

My heart stutters. I have touched, tasted, stroked and devoured every inch of this woman. I’ve ridden the strongest highs with her, but nothing compares to the feeling currently spiking in my blood. I painfully realize I could go years without seeing her and never stop craving her. It is not her body. It is not how hot she is in bed. It is not that we are sneaking around. It's just her. All of her. I need her. She’s my fucking everything. 

I want to pour my heart out. I want to tell her that I can’t live without her but I’m not brave enough. Instead, I give her what I’ve never told anyone else, and I hope she can understand what I am trying to tell her.

“I want to be with you too Doll. You are the only one I’ve ever wanted more with and I don’t give a damn what any of our idiot friends think. I want you to be mine….only mine.”

I watch a tear fall down her face. I rub it away gently with my thumb. My heart is pounding, I want to kiss her so bad, but don’t want to hurt her. She is beaten to hell. As always my temptress you never cease to amaze me. She uses her good hand and pulls me down into a tender kiss. Her lips are no longer a stranger to me, but this is new. This is raw, open, honest, and everything she is. As our lips part, she whispers softly into mine “I want to be with you right now.”

The fever in my blood jumps several degrees and I go hard. I call on every bit of willpower I have. Her wrist is sprained and her hip is a mess. This isn’t the time for me to do all the things I want to do to her. 

“Jacks, you’re hurt. I want you too baby but we should wait.” 

“We can be careful. Please. I need this. I need you.” 

Those last three words shred my self control. The idea that she needs me is nearly beyond my comprehension. I pull her close to me, and whisper in her ear “You have to tell me if I’m hurting you. Promise me Jackie.”

She nods and softly responds with “I promise” 

My heart is pounding in my chest. I was not this nervous the first time we had sex but this feels different. I slowly and softly brush my lips across hers and murmur “You have no idea what you do to me.” She sighs sweetly in response to my words and I deepen the kiss. Her fingers snake into my hair, and she starts twisting the curls. If she knew what that did to me, she would have me on my knees before her. I break us apart and gently push her a little further off my lap. I start unwrapping her blanket and feel like I’m unwrapping the best Christmas present possible. Underneath is my Jackie, beautiful, exotic, sweet, and unadorned, I am so turned on I can barely hold it together.

She is studying me with unabashed desire and feeling. This right here folks is what keeps me awake at night. It fuels my relentless want for her. I stop holding back and feast at my favorite banquet.

I brush my fingers lightly over her nipples that are stiff with cold and desire. She gives a low moan, and I pull her back to me.

“Can you straddle me baby? Or will that hurt your hip?” She answers with her actions, she sits across my lap and I praise her with kisses down her neck. The taste of her skin nearly causes me to come on the spot. She tastes of salt, summer rain and her body’s sexual needs. If I bottled this and sold it in stores, I would be a fucking millionaire. 

I take my tongue and trace it from her neck down to her breast and I take her hardened nipple in my mouth. I am pushed even higher by watching her head tip back as she lets out a moan.

I massage her breast with my mouth as I slide my free hand up her thigh until it finds Jackie’s warmth. She is soaking wet with her desire for me. I think of a million wicked things I could do to her right now but what I really want is to be inside her, to feel her wrapped around me. I pluck her up as gently as I can trying to avoid her injury, and slide her down up my me. I watch her go eyes go almost gold as she adjusts to me. This is incredibly intimate. Her body is completely pressed against mine as she glides up and down on me. Her eyes never leave mine as I start to lose myself in what I feel for her. Her walls tighten around me, and I whisper

“You mean the world to me, Jackie.” She explodes around me crying “I love you Steven.” She said it out loud and it pushes me over the edge and I empty myself into her. She collapses into me and I pull her as close as I can. She is holding me tightly, but I ease out of her, so she won’t continue to stress her hip. I quickly cradle her to me. 

Her voice breaks the quiet “I don’t have words for what that was. Thank You.” I feel my throat clog on my emotions. I softly say, “This is the best I’ve ever had with someone. This was special.” I look down to see that she has fallen asleep in my arms. Her doll like face has a sweet smile and it makes my heart thump madly. I pull her even closer and whisper into her hair “I love you too baby.”

  
  
  
  



End file.
